The Dream, the Grey Process and the Deep Puddle

by Anya Wolfenden

A dark place is a scary realm for the sane mind to travel, yet exploring the dark sides can lead us to purposeful growth, and psychological and spiritual integration.

Let's operate from the premise that dark emotions such as anger, self-mutilating agony, hate, and frustration, are signals that we want to get back to love, and regain compassion for ourselves and others. I believe this because I cry when I am mad. I feel betrayed and hurt by what I perceive to be another's unkindness.

Aggression comes from the belief that one will not be taken care of. Hate stems from disillusionment that one is not loved. Fury erupts from repeated mean treatment. Thich Nhat Hanh- a scholar and activist nominated for the Pulitzer Peace Prize by Martin Luther King, Jr.- has addressed anger and violence for decades, and his new book, Creating True Peace: Ending Violence in Yourself, Your Family; Your Community and The World brings it workably close to home. Hard emotions transformed with cleansing action and self-awareness may potentially lead to healing.

Last year I picked a folded paper out of the bowl of quotes at the Heritage Café. "Walk barefoot in deep puddles" enchanted my imagination. Occasionally I glanced at it taped on the wall of my office, sure that it would tie into some exploration. Walking barefoot in deep puddles is like stepping into the primordial swamp, a call to adventure into the murky unknown! But what is in the mud oozing around the feet? Broken glass could slice the toes; leeches might adhere to the ankles. Go on - you imagine walking in a deep puddle and think about what you might fear! Dark places, deep puddles, thoughtful depth, outer space, and the dark parts of ourselves are not easy, and therefore not popular.

The dark screen behind the eyes is a rich source of subconscious truth. When the mind travels into such a place, we might feel fear. The void symbolizes not knowing, losing control, and having no limits. In this internal state, we can surrender to the tornado vortex of the dream state (like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz) and find our way home. The dark places and tunnels invite the conscious mind to travel past what it sees. The ego resists the invitation because the individual merges with the Whole - the nothingness so peaceful to the soul. Let go and you are sucked into the cosmic womb to reawaken.

When my brain shudders into assumptive routine, dreams prod me not to under-conceive. Vivid dreams fuel emotional images strong enough to jump-start the psyche, as if to say: "You might not want to get moving, but you will fulfill your soul's purpose. Let's get around your conscious brain and move you along this journey." Listening to the dream makes me feel that I will not be lost to spiritual procrastination.

Under-conceiving is quite different from under-achieving. I have lots of ideas, sometimes inspired ones. An idea is merely a nerve impulse which releases a chemical and stains the brain. This lets me recall the idea; however it is not mine. I plucked it floating in the mass unconscious, but it may be much more useful to another's life process. All ideas don't have to be manifested.

Darkness falls when I give energy to an idea and stall in creating it. But it's not so black and white. Even black and white photos have myriad shades of grey, or they'd simply be silhouettes! The reason we get scared of black places is we don't think about what makes the idea and result whole, how process greys and shadows give the picture detail and depth.

We cannot produce anything of merit outside of the spiritual path. During each season, amidst any project, and on the Sabbath we need to cleanse, revitalize and conceive. When I feel "all tapped out" like sap from a maple tree, I remember that it's not always necessary to do. The utter exhaustion of being drained of all energy and usefulness is a great time for meditating on the blank canvas of no will.

Meditation, massage, and imagery are excellent portals for the superconcious. In meditation you let go of the monkey mind chatter, to access a glimmer of understanding. Massage is the ultimate mind/body cooperative because it illuminates the emotions held in the body, and at the same time releases images to your closed eyes. Follow those images into dark places and you may come to a resolution or path toward peace.

It helps to be aware of places that masquerade as light yet are dark. Most schools, workplaces and indoor environments illuminate primarily with artificial lighting. Have you seen the new schools with their prison-style windows? Tall, thin slivers of hermetically sealed glass? I use the word illuminate loosely, because the mind actually perceives indoor lighting as darkness. A small portion of the full spectrum of light is harnessed in the common lightbulb and fluorescent. Don't believe me? Just walk outside after being inside for six hours and the sun is blinding! It takes a few minutes for your eyes to adjust. True light, with all of its color and energy, including ultraviolet rays, is essential to our circadian rhythm, our bones (making vitamin D), our moods, and our minds. Using full-spectrum light bulbs can help with seasonal affective disorder, but the best therapy is getting outside a couple of hours everyday. Strong exercise, which raises the endorphin levels, also becomes essential to clear the mind and come through the depths renewed.

Once we know why our dark sides emerge, and how they might serve, journeying through dreams, dark puddles, black void, vortex, chaos, and the great Creative, is a way we get to the best stuff!

© 2003 by Anya Wolfenden, director of communications for The Heritage Health Foods, Café, Books & Gifts, Holistic Center and Edgar Cayce Products, 314 Laskin Rd., Virginia Beach, Virginia, 757-428-0100, and where full spectrum lights and thought-provoking books can be found.

2/1/04