Magnetism: Tools to Enhance Our Relationships
I Am Not My Circumstances

by Sherri Hughes Sokol, C.Ht.

There have been many times when all was wonderful, happy, and exactly as it should be in my life. I'd wake up in the morning with a passion for the new day. The greens seemed greener, the blues more blue, and the whole world just a bit brighter. Then something happened. It didn't have to be a major something, just a shift in life. Maybe it was the kids going off to school or a change in seasons. Sometimes it was more significant, such as a divorce, losing a job, or moving to a new town. Then again it could just be gentle reminders of aging, such as a new ache or an extra wrinkle or two. These types of events happen often in life and occur daily for a lot of people. But when it shows up in my life, I can become consumed with the situation.

I heard it said just a few days ago, "When I'm in physical pain, the whole world revolves around me and my feeling better. I don't reach out to anyone else for support." You know, I find a lot of truth in this. Major pain or trauma in one's life can be all-consuming, but I was wondering how this applied to emotional pain. Does it also consume me? Is it still all about me? I believe it is. Emotional pain can be often be as or more traumatic than physical pain. When there is physical pain involved, other people can easily recognize it. You might go to the doctor to get a diagnosis and some medication. You might wear a cast, or maybe you are recovering from surgery. The evidence proves we're in pain and people show up in our lives. Friends and family offer comfort and sympathy, and bring flowers. Often this type of pain can result in very positive stroking for people who otherwise receive little attention in life.

With emotional pain, it's more of an inside job. It's about something that happened in my life and the story I created about it, the drama applied to it, and my ability or willingness to move through it.

This type of pain doesn't manifest itself in a way that others often recognize. And it's very common (if not convenient) to get caught in the circumstances and create an even larger emotional pit to fall into. This way life will really create a drama that others will have to notice. This behavior is often unintentional and unconscious, and most of us would deny that it even applies to us. But if we're human at all, it applies to each and every one of us to varying degrees.

As ego-driven humans, we do tend to become our circumstances. We let financial failure determine our self-worth. The pain of a divorce or broken relationship says we're unworthy of love. We tell ourselves that nothing good ever happens to us because we don't deserve it anyway. Wow, if our thoughts truly do become things, then we are destined for lives of misery! There is usually a learning experience to receive from emotional pain and the drama around it, though sometimes the lesson appears far after the event. I challenge each of us to think of these life events as ways the universe reveals that our thinking may be off in certain areas of our lives. Often we are supplied challenges to increase our perseverance or to otherwise strengthen us. Personal difficulties are sometimes reminders that we have somehow lost our spiritual connection, our inner strength. I have found that emotional pain is really a soul sickness. It's about not having that inner connection with my higher self and then relying on my own limited abilities to make things better.

When I'm in connection with a higher force, I innately know that I am far bigger than anything that can happen to me. The human side of me is not bigger; it is the universal life force that is far more powerful and present. This source of spiritual energy is ever-flowing, always present and all-knowing. I get a wiser perspective when I turn to my spiritual center through meditation or prayer and say, "I know this truly isn't about me. It's about something far bigger and more infinite than I can imagine. Life first occurs in the spiritual world and then manifests itself in the physical world - therefore, I know I've had a spiritual disconnection. So from today on, I tell my ego to step aside, and I turn this situation and my life over to Divine Spirit and know that all will be well."

It is only when I am spiritually reconnected and living in the moment that I can really make a difference in my life and the lives of others. What an awesome and empowered way to live! Life no longer centers on me and my circumstances or what happened in the past but is centered within the conscious awareness of universal power. I am able to set wonderful goals and possibilities for my life to evolve into, and I can live a life loving others and myself. I have a richer, more fulfilling and intimate life when I support others by sharing the knowledge that we are much bigger than our circumstances and that there is a better, more empowered life available to us all. Healthy Blessings.

Sherri Hughes Sokol, C.Ht. utilizes a combination of spiritual and personal coaching along with Hypnotherapy and Reiki in her practice with clients and is also available for speaking engagements and workshops. Her office is located with Integrated Health Care, 5816 Creedmoor Rd., Suite 205, Raleigh, and phone 919.861.8890, ext. 307.