Insights and Answers

by Rachel Rowlson, CCSW, LMFT, CHT

Dear Rachel: Some of my friends talk about how they "manifest" whatever they want and have asked me to join them in what they call "manifesting sessions." It sounded like a good idea at first-just get some folks together and ask God to give you whatever you want-but I feel guilty for asking. Another problem is that some of the people in our "manifesting" group have been asking for other people in their lives to change. I feel funny about that. It feels like they are asking God to manipulate people on their behalf. What do you think of this "manifesting" business?  - T.K., Raleigh, NC

Dear T.K.: Your short letter has asked several deep and important questions. 1. Do we have a right to ask God to fulfill our wishes? 2. Is it okay to pray for others to do our bidding? 3. Is it okay to pray for others to change? 4. Do we really have the power to create by getting together in groups and focusing on something specific?

I'm not sure from your letter if the "manifesting" you describe is what the Unity Church calls Manifesting, or if you mean prayer, or if you and your friends are using some other religious or energy focus concepts. I will assume that you mean speaking a specific wish and asking others to focus with you on the mental and emotional creation of your wish.

Do we have a right to ask god to fulfill our wishes? Many people would tell you that you have as much of a right as anyone else to the fulfillment of your dreams. But I do not know you nor do I know what your dreams may be. Here, we can easily get sidetracked into philosophical questions about the rights of criminals vs. moral folk, the validity of various religions, and who knows what else. This column only has room for a simple but, I hope, effective answer.

When we deeply desire something, we are "manifesting." Our focus and often our energy are on our wish. The amount of energy we put int3o our desire through our emotions, our thoughts and our actions has a direct bearing on the outcome. Consciously or unconsciously, we are always asking for our desires to be fulfilled, whether or not we have a right to do so.

Rather than feel guilty that you have wishes and desires, pay attention to how and what you are requesting through your thoughts and emotions. Our wishes and thoughts bring back to us similar energy. Make sure what you "manifest" is positive and loving. Asking for revenge, manifesting something negative for another, or wishing to control others will bring that negative energy to you and your life much more quickly than it will move from you to another. I like to end all my requests with "if it for the highest good of all." I hope that takes care of contingencies I am not aware could occur.

Is it okay to pray for others to do our bidding? Well, we could always use a little help as we navigate through this world. But the best and most powerful help comes from those who want to help us of their own free will. When we think others must change for our own lives to get better, we are giving away our power and getting stuck in victim thinking. A better life tactic is to pray for personal guidance and creative solutions. My personal belief is that there are many spirit beings who would love to help us, but not necessarily as we would expect. My Spirit guides love to put me into growth situations (often uncomfortable ones) as they help me learn more about myself and teach me the true value of my life experiences.

Is it okay to pray for others to change? How can we be sure we know what is best for another? In my more co-dependent days of the past, I learned the hard way that what I thought was best often had unexpected and painful outcomes. If you know someone who needs help, send prayers of love and ask for Divine guidance for that person. Love is the most powerful healing energy in existence. Appropriate emotional support and love will be much more helpful than an attitude of "I know best."

Do we really have the power to create by getting together in groups and focusing on something specific? During the Cold War experiments in both the USSR and the United States proved the power of focused attention for both positive and negative outcomes. More recently, Larry Dossey has reported on experiments showing the healing effects of positive prayer on cells in petri dishes as well as on humans. Deepak Chopra explains how thoughts and emotions can add energy to situations and events through the Unified Field Theory and Quantum Physics. More and more evidence is showing that prayer, focused attention and group desire are powerful energy forces that create change. So, manifest away in a thoughtful manner, paying close attention to creating positive and loving energy only.

Rachel Rowlson integrates 20 years experience as a psychotherapist with a life time of training in metaphysical concepts and healing modalities in her work as a healer and an intuitive counselor as well as in her writing and workshops. Send your questions to Rachel at 109 Breakers Place, Cary, NC 27511. Questions will only be answered in this column and may take several months to be printed.