Insights and Answers: April/May 2001

by Rachel Rowlson, CCSW, LMFT, CHT

Dear Rachel: Last night, as I was driving home, it felt like my father was sitting in the car beside me. I know he wasn't really there, because when I looked over the seat was empty. My father has Alzheimer's disease and has been in a coma for several months now. Am I having hallucinations, or could he have really been there? He didn't say anything. It was more a sense of peacefulness like I used to feel as a child when he was with me - that sense of being safe and protected. - J. B., Wilmington, NC

Dear J. B.: It is thought by many that when in a coma, a person is deciding whether or not to come back to life or to go ahead and transition. While in a coma, it must be much easier for the soul or spirit self to come and go in the body. We will never know the truth, so why not allow yourself the comforting thoughts and feelings. Let yourself believe your father came to you to share some love and to let you know that he is watching over you, just as he did when you were a child.

People often report experiencing an out-of-body visit from a loved one just before the loved one dies. Do not be surprised if your father came to say goodbye and transitions very soon. Take comfort in the visit and know that you are and will always be loved by him, whether he maintains his earthly body or moves on.

Dear Rachel: Last night I had a very strange dream. When I woke up this morning, I had trouble coming back to this world. I felt I was still in my dream and had to go jogging to get myself fully back in my body. In the dream, I was in a court of law, but not here on Earth. Or, if it was Earth, it was in the future. No one spoke; thoughts ran freely between people. What you "heard" depended on where or who you focused on.

I was on trial for interfering with the thoughts of others- forcing them to make bad financial decisions and getting women to make love with me. I was convicted and sentenced to lose my ability to know others' thoughts. I would have to communicate by word of mouth. Can you help me understand this dream?  - C. S., Raleigh, N C

Dear C.S.: What a fascinating dream. I will give you my interpretations based on universal dream symbols, but do remember that all dreams are uniquely personal. A dream interpreter who knows you and your personal metaphors would come closer to a true interpretation than I can, since I do not know you.

One interpretation is that your dream was not a dream, but was you in an alternate reality or future life. You may be tapping into what is happening to you elsewhere. If so, why? It is my personal belief that very little occurs by happenstance. If you are tapping into some other time or someone else, it is still important to know the message for you.

Are you trying to influence others either overtly or covertly? Be very honest with yourself. Do you judge others and/or try to get them to live their lives according to your standards? Are you giving advice without beings asked? A good rule of thumb is to not give anyone advice until they have asked you at least 3 times.

Giving advice can be dangerous: you may not have all the facts, what would work for you may not be in the best interest of another, you may be fostering dependency rather than truly empowering others, and advice-giving is one-up-man-ship that often undermines self-esteem.

I wonder if you are feeling guilty for manipulating others. Or maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you are more powerful than you think you are. New research has shown that our thoughts do have a strong influence on others as well as on ourselves. Pay attention to how you act and what you think. Get clear about your morals and values, and make sure you act in accordance with them.

Very often, everyone in a dream is a different aspect of the self. Try to figure out if you are having an internal moral dilemma (the courtroom). Are you being disrespectful of yourself? Are you undermining your own security and integrity in some way? I wonder if the sentence of no longer being privy to private thoughts is a warning that your actions may cut you off from the part of you that wants to keep you secure (represented by the financial issue) and safe (represented by the sexual boundaries issue).

Clearly, the difficulty you had coming out of the dream tells you that something very important is going on. Do a complete "inventory" of yourself, as they would say in Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm glad you did not just dismiss this dream and that you want to understand. You have a great opportunity here for personal growth. I wish the best to you.

Rachel Rowlson integrates 20 years experience as a psychotherapist with a life time of training in metaphysical concepts and healing modalities in her work as a healer and an intuitive counselor as well as in her writing and workshops. Send your questions to Rachel at 109 Breakers Place, Cary, NC 27511. Questions will only be answered in this column and may take several months to be printed.