The Body/Mind Health Corner™

with Steven Rogat

August/September 2002

Dear Steve: Throughout the years I have clenched my teeth. But this past year seems to be the worst. I wake up with pain in my jaw. And sometimes, during the day, I get minor headaches from the clenching. I try not to grind my teeth, but I'm not too successful at that. My job is somewhat stressful. And I worry a lot about not doing things right or producing enough. Also, I first noticed the problem about 5 years ago, when I changed jobs, bought a house, and we had our fist son. I know it's stress, but I have a tough time knowing what to do with it.

Tired of worrying, Dan, Chicago, IL

Dear Dan: Grinding your teeth, also known as Bruxism, can definitely cause problems if not addressed. So can worrying. There seem to be many expectations about your performance and the roles you try to play - perfect father, husband and employee. I question whether or not you enjoy your job. Are there things that could change if you would just "open your mouth" and speak up? Or do you feel you need to merely "grit your teeth and bear it." Notice when you grind your teeth, and what you were thinking about within a few minutes of doing so. Get to the positive thought and relax. You can also program your subconscious to notice any grinding, then to accept the positive thought, and relax. I recommend you do some brainstorming to find alternative means of meeting your own and others' needs. Having unreasonable expectations (which could have been learned during childhood) is unhealthy because it usually ends with failure. It's hard to meet others' demands, especially if you have set it up to "have to" do better than your best. It's okay to have lower expectations. With each success, you can then raise the expectations appropriately.

Positive Thought To Manifest:  I am in the perfect place at the perfect time, successfully engaged in the perfect activities, with the perfect people. I safely share that feeling with others. 

Expect yourself to make reasonable goals, Steve

Dear Steve: About three years ago I was diagnosed with an "underfunctioning" kidney. I have been told that the headaches I have been experiencing for about five years were due to toxic overload from this kidney. I have also been having dull pains in my back around that area. I went to a nutritionist and followed a recommended kidney cleansing diet, and have been taking some supplements. They seem to be helping, but the problem keeps recurring. What can I do? I can't think of anything bad going on in my life around the time this all started. There were some changes, but thy were all good. My husband got a new, higher paying job that he liked. I had my second child, and got to be a stay-at-home mom for a while, and we added on to our house. I'm not stressed over these things. If anything I have calmed down a lot, and take life more easily. 

Tired of always having to watch my health, JoAnn, Madison, WI

Dear JoAnn: It is not only "bad" things that create tension in our lives. The good things create stress as well. It sounds like you've been treating yourself pretty good for the last five years. However, as you probably already know, pregnancy can be a little hard on your kidneys, and they might need a little boost after birthing. Also, there definitely were some other big changes in your life then. Generally, kidneys deal with "filtering" toxins (anger) and other substances from the body. For you, I feel there was something going on around the birth of your second child that upset you - perhaps unintentional jealousy from your husband, perhaps from your first child. Anger may have been directed at you. However, in your loving calmness, you decided not to get angry as well. That is commendable, but some anger can be useful. It is not the anger in and of itself that is destructive, but what we do with it. First acknowledge when you do get angry - it lets you know that perhaps you feel hurt, and that there may be needs and wants that are not being fulfilled. You can then let it out in constructive, non-hurtful ways. Filter out what anger is harmful. Acknowledge and "use" any anger left over as a motivating force for positive change.

Positive Thought To Manifest: I communicate my needs and wants to others in with love and acceptance. I accept the perfect support for that.

Even anger can be communicated in loving ways, Steve