Being Grateful for Blessings

by John Kimbrough

There are many things that we can be thankful for, even though we may be suffering. When we are overwhelmed by our confusion, pain and sorrow, we forget the beauties and opportunities that life can offer.

"Do you think Thailand is a third world country?" The question, put to me by a young Thai woman surprised me. Having lived and taught in Thailand for a number of years, my perceptions about the country had changed somewhat.

I no longer looked it in terms of being a first world or third world country. It was and is just a place where I live. Still, her question got me thinking about something that I had not reflected on in a very long time. Like all humans, this writer has his issues to deal with, feeling up and down at various times, reflecting on the past, experiencing the present and wondering about the future.

But then I take a walk around my neighborhood in Bangkok, and I realize that I have much to be thankful for. I can read. I can write. I have two legs. I have two arms. I can see. There are people on the streets of Bangkok who do not have these benefits. Not a lot, but a few.

In developed or what are known as first world countries individuals have great personal and social benefits, freedoms and opportunities to derive growth, happiness and pleasure from. But having visited these countries, Japan, Australia, and England and lived in The United States for most of my life, I have met, seen and experienced individuals who are lost or confused about their life experience, regardless of the benefits and opportunities they are provided in these first world countries and societies. This is not an age issue, or a gender issue, or really dependent on whether one is married or not, or has a family or not. One is initially liable to think that if we are not alone and have a family to experience life with, we are more likely to be experiencing love, companionship and fulfillment. The reality of life is that this is not always true. Many times it is the lack of communication, internal and external harmony, and mutual understanding and respect within the family that leads to some of our greatest problems.

At times, things can look pretty desperate. We lose our ability to see that there are things within ourselves and others that can interest and excite us, and more importantly, teach us things that we can benefit from learning. We need to make an effort to be exposed to those teachings, those teachers, and those people and situations which do inspire us. Is it another day or night of hanging our with our friends, drinking and smoking, compromising our mental and physical health for a few moments of enjoyment? 

Are we spending all our time with our friends gossiping about or talking badly about others in a slanderous way? Do we get so belligerent in our aloneness to others or when we are with our friends, in relation to another person or group, that anger and violence are not far away? Have we got so overwhelmed by the negativity of our life experiences and our perceptions of those experiences that "we become prisoners in our own self "made cells of bitterness?" (1) Are we looking at others and the world with feelings of pessimism, distrust and cynicism? Do we "spiritually devastate those who had placed their trust in us"? (2) Dr. Charles R. Swindoll reminds us of some important things in his writings. He states that "disturbing lessons occur in all our lives" (3) and that "in times of deep pain and doubt, it's normal to withdraw, to want to be alone. But we must be careful not to isolate ourselves." (4) When this happens, we may turn to drugs and drinks to escape from our bad feelings, or start to interact with people who may manipulate or hurt us. Neither drugs, drinks or other confused or scarred people will help us. We must not allow ourselves to get to a state where we can not longer see and strive for those things that are within us that are healthy and good. They are within all of us. We have been taught that "man is born with impulses that make him swerve from the path of peace and rectitude, and modern civilization stimulates many of these impulses strongly. (5)  It is easy to not know where to turn for guidance that is sincere and will really bring about a change. The things that may be asked from us may seem monumental to do and achieve. But we have to understand that many of our bad feelings that may be causing us pain or despair are within us and can be dealt with through our own effort.

No one can do it for us. Others can share with us, talk with us, guide us, teach us, but the real commitment and effort is up to us. Many will have an awakening on their own. The feelings of pain and sorrow, our suffering, is just the calling of the internal spirit for release, letting us know that we have got to the point where we have to access, cultivate and maintain it. One noted teacher of Yoga has described suffering and the pain and sorrow that accompanies it in this way. "It is the desire of your spiritual self to bring about a cessation of the unsatisfactory state of affairs and thereby a distinct change."(6) Christian teachings often refer to suffering as being something that makes us stronger and wiser. Unfortunately, many people reject religious and spiritual teachings as being nonsense and impractical as they apply to modern life. We fail to see that they tell us how to live, and more importantly, that in living in this manner, we bring about a change within ourselves.

We are taught in Christianity to live in this moral manner in obedience to a higher power or to please a deity or to access the reward of heaven. In Buddhism and Yoga, through these ways of living, and an understanding of how to live, we balance our own consciousness and thereby see others and the world in a more positive light. Perhaps most importantly, we see ourselves, and think and feel better as individuals with more clarity and joy.

When we see things more clearly, we become more mindful of those habits and routines that may be compromising our mental and physical health and balance.

In addition, we have the energy to act in ways based on that mindfulness that bring greater things into our lives.

Those who have recovered from drug and drink addictions always find that they have more energy, and that they sleep and eat better.

Sure there are new challenges to face. That is what life is, a neverending series of challenges as we strive for the greatest joy within us.

One of the beauties of life that is available to us, even when we are overwhelmed by pain or despair is hope. A hope for a change. A hope for a love. A hope for a true friend. But we do not have to sit around waiting. We can do things in this moment that will elevate our perceptions on the world. 

We can take deep slow breathes. We can eat healthier food. We can meditate. We can relax. We can search out people, organizations and teachings that appeal to us. We can understand that life will be hard, but the suffering, pain or confusion that we are experiencing now may form the foundation for joy, appreciation and wisdom in the future.

(1) Swindoll, Charles R. Christ at the Crossroads (Anaheim, California Insight for Living. 1998) page 17
(2) Christ at the Crossroads, page 134
(3) Christ at the Crossroads, page 56
(4) Christ at the Crossroads, page 62
(5) Piyadassi, Thera. The Buddha's Ancient Path (Kandy, Sri Lanka Buddhist Publication Society. 1964), page 163
(6) Chidananda, Swami. The Philosophy, Psychology and Practice of Yoga (Tehri-Garhwal, India The Divine Life Trust Society. 1991), page 27

Copyright 2003 John C. Kimbrough. John lives and teaches in Bangkok, Thailand. He can be reached at johnckimbrough@yahoo.com.