One of My Spiritual Journeys

by William Frey

There were two traveling companions who came upon a magnificent and formidable mountain range which blocked their forward progress. One traveler decided to accept the mountain as a barrier and settled in the valley at the foot of the mountain. The other traveler climbed a little more of the mountain range each day, gradually building endurance and experience; eventually, this traveler crossed over the range and onto the other side.

This story is a parable of two phases of my life. In the first phase, I was stopped by whatever obstacle stood in my way. I thought that "no" really meant "no" and that "impossible" meant "don't even try." (Sometimes they might mean "find a different way.")

I was fortunate to have married a wonderful woman who shares so much of her life with me. When she requested that I join her in a session with someone she called a "coach," little did I realize how much that would change the direction of my life.

This coach stimulated me to think in ways outside my ordinary experience. I had been a curious and somewhat open-minded person to begin with, but this was carrying me deeper into my core sense of being than I had ever gone before. The very ways that I perceived the world were presented for me to re-examine and re-evaluate. What are my core values? In what ways am I responsible for my life? What meanings do I attach to any given event? How do I know that I know something? And who is this "I" that I refer to?

These were questions that I had encountered in many years of exploring Buddhism and meditation, but now they were being applied to my life and my marriage and my everyday relationships. This was no longer theory; this became daily practice. I started "living within the questions."

The beginning of the breakthrough occurred when I finally "got it" that I make interpretations of what I perceive. I attach meanings that have to do with who I think I am rather than any meaning intrinsic in the event. Our coach said, "Nothing has meaning except the meaning I give it, and the meaning I give it will be about me."

What this did was to tear down my inner walls of defensiveness and to open up the creativity that was hidden behind those walls. I don't mean creativity in the sense of sculpting a pile of clay. I mean looking at an "obstacle" and realizing that I can re-create it to be anything. I am at a point of conscious choice where I can choose to be stopped or I can be unstoppable. If I choose to be unstoppable, in how many ways could that manifest?

I am a meaning-making machine. I can make new meanings for these challenges and, in the process, make new meanings for my self. Who do I want to be? Who do I think you are in relation to me? Who do I think I have to be in order to increase the possibility that you might be that?

The story goes on. My wife and I took a series of courses through Landmark Education, and it became clear to me that I had accepted my career as an obstacle to my fulfillment. So I changed careers. What I've become is what I received so much value from in the past: a coach. I graduated from The Coaches Training Institute, called upon my college education and my life education, and formed a partnership with my wife called Pathfinders Coaching.

Now - right now - every moment is a new opportunity for me to explore true joy and contentment. That's something that I intend to share with others to help them along their own spiritual journeys.

Patricia & William Frey are coaches for personal and professional fulfillment. Patty is also a yoga instructor and women's workshop facilitator. Will leads workshops in stress management and wellness. Call for a complementary sample coaching session at 919-304-9965 or Will@PathfindersCoaching.com