|
My Spiritual Journey
by Anne Fishburne
I started out as a Baptist. I’m still
a Baptist.
As a girl, my family went to Sunday
School, church, Training Union on Sunday nights, and Wednesday night
activities. Of course, there was Vacation Bible School in the summer. My
dad was a deacon. I was active in the Girls’ Auxiliary, and attained
the rank of Queen.
But when my Mom left my Dad, he was
asked to resign his deaconship. He was the one who stayed with us, and
kept bringing us to church. But he stepped down. Divorce was a big
no-no, even though he had done nothing "wrong." At that point,
my picture of church was somewhat cracked.
I went to church off and on, through
college. After that, I didn’t go to church until my first daughter was
born. My then-husband and I visited several churches nearby, until we
found a moderate Baptist church where people were warm and sincere. So,
for a long time, spirituality meant organized religion and church
involvement.
Then, I got cancer. It was shortly
after my divorce that I found a lump. It was malignant, and I had a
mastectomy, and then chemotherapy. Talk about a test of faith. Despair
and doubt were frequent. I read everything – the Psalms, Buddhist
writings, Rumi, Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson. The cancer has gone
into remission three times, and has returned three times. I have been on
continuous treatment for three years. I am a ten-year survivor.
Early in my cancer journey, I happened
upon a labyrinth workshop. I was quite intrigued by the experience of
walking the labyrinth. After reading up on the subject and attending a
couple more workshops, I took a certification course to become a
labyrinth facilitator. My friend Alice bought me a couple of canvas
labyrinths to use for conducting workshops. I worked with my church to
construct an outdoor concrete labyrinth that is wheelchair accessible.
The labyrinth became a new important way to pray while walking along the
spiraling path. The labyrinth is important as a symbol from our history,
linking us to those before us.
I explored other symbols of healing as
well. I collected crystals, and used them to remind myself of their
symbolic meanings. I became a Reiki II practitioner, mainly using it on
myself. I became a dowser, and became more aware of energy.
As I explored ways of healing, I became
exposed to healing and spiritual concepts from outside the mainstream
Christian faith. New Age, Buddhist, Christian and Jewish mysticism
became additional texts for spiritual healing. I worked toward holistic
healing, using therapy, healing touch, and organic nutrition to bolster
my body’s ability to heal. Many concepts from other faith practices
felt like new and additional ways to approach God. My basic faith was
strong – not rigid, but solid. This expanded approach to God is
different from what I was taught in Sunday School as a kid, but it
affords a more compassionate view of life. |
