The Body/Mind Health Corner™

with Steven Rogat

December 2005/January 2006

Dear Steven,

I reach out of my solitude that I have placed myself in. I am in pain of not being able to move forward with any kind of control over my life. April of this year I came to Garner, NC for an interview. Life in Atlanta was swallowing me, and when I drove here for the interview my body shifted and I knew at that moment I was to move here. Pure joy for change and a new life had set in for me, my son, age 12, and my dog, age 7. My house had then not sold, so in action of letting it go, and trying to save my credit. I have released that house over and over again. I am grateful and it served me well.

My heart was lost two days before we left Atlanta, as my precious dog, Layla, got hit by a car and died. I can not begin to tell the depth of my grief. I have received healings from this and many messages from her. I have even seen her since and feel her in my heart each day. I still feel the loss of the excitement I had for the 3 of us coming here, and I set myself in solitude. I started my job here, with women whose energy was wild and turbulent. After 3 1/2 months of being with them I was ask to move to another location where I was much needed. I gladly accepted the position, only to find myself surrounded by more and more people.

I have had skin cancer appear and treated on my back in my 2nd month here and just last month tumors removed from my uterus. I see that this is about loving myself. And the femaleness of life. I am very lonely, and find myself without any friends. I am overweight and am so out of control with my eating I am mad at myself. I know that my weight is the answer to all and I mean all my hopes, dreams, wishes. I am ready to release whatever this block is NOW. I know that I am here for a new beginning. I feel that I have to get some control before I can move forward. I look at my body, and  I am mad at myself for not living this life to the fullest because I have chosen to stay fat.

I have also come to see, that I have built my whole life around my child. In which I have no control over. He wishes for one thing in his life right now. A family. A man in our house. I know that that will not happen till I lose weight. So again, why can I not control my desires, my wishes and hopes and make my dreams come true?  Is there any help that you would suggest? If there is any suggestion that you can give me I would greatly appreciate it. Greatly. There is so much beauty in me just trying to come out....I want to be the real me.

In Light,
Mary

Dear Mary,

Skin relates to what "covers us." Cancer relates to anger and resentment, and the back is what supports us. You are angry and resentful at having to support yourself and at not being able to support others (your son and dog) in ways that you have done so in the past. The tumors in the uterine area reflect the ways in which you have "hardened" yourself to this anger. Yes, it has to do with your "feminine energies." However, more specifically, you have identified yourself as a parent throughout much of this lifetime. Now, you cannot parent your dog, and, having had three kids of my own through their adolescence, I can tell you that it is tough being a parent to a 12 year old. Most of the time, they do not let you parent them. So your role changes to that of "parent when needed." And good luck getting from him that you ARE a good parent.

Anger in and of itself is not negative. It is what we do with it that is either helpful or hindering. Anger only shows us that we have been hurt and we are afraid of being hurt again. Acknowledge the hurt, and release the anger on a cellular level. Additionally, it does no good to be angry at yourself for being angry. This secondary anger only serves to harden the tumors further. Thank yourself for acknowledging your anger, for it shows you what you are missing in your life. You also need to find an identify for yourself other than that of bering a mother. That is what your dog tried to show you as she passed. Thank her for trying to get you in touch with the love you have for yourself. Additionally, the weight does NOT cause your life to be lonely. The loneliness, the habit of protecting yourself from finding a bigger, more expansive identity, helps to create the weight. The illnesses and the weight serve to get you to commit to healing yourself, to loving yourself.

You are NOT being punished for finding the strength and love within  You are finding the strength and love within because of your challenges. You have a lot to offer others, not as a parent, but as a unique, special, valuable person...as MARY! This IS a starting over period in your life.. Start it by being loving to yourself, to your body, to life, which you know is precious. I admire your courage to start life over. Focus on the strength and love that are natural to you. I would also recommend a Shamanic technique called a "Soul Retrieval", retrieving the strength, resources and love that you had before you moved here. Additionally, celebrate life in the body. Be sensuous, study yoga (for overweight people) or some other spiritual movement exercise, wear more colorful clothing, eat "exciting" foods, burn some incense, take a bath. get a massage. Feel the goodness. You deserve it.

Positive Thought To Manifest: I nurture others in the perfect form. I am enough, I have enough, I do enough... because I am Mary.

Be as nice to yourself as you are to others,

Steve